| s-1
| Hi everyone! |
| s-2
| So I'm just about to tuck into a crisp sandwich. |
| s-3
| Salt vinegar squares are my crisp of choice. |
| s-4
| And I've got some apple juice because this signifies kind of my diet staples the last few weeks. |
| s-5
| So I thought this was an opportune time to tell you all that a couple of weeks ago I found out that I am pregnant. |
| s-6
| It's the first week that I've been actually able to say the words' I'm pregnant' and have it not feel really weird. |
| s-7
| I found out on, I think it was the 3rd of January. |
| s-8
| Let's just double check that. |
| s-9
| No, excuse me, it was the fifth of January. |
| s-10
| I found out on the fifth and that was because my period was late and I am never late. |
| s-11
| As soon as I came off the pill my period came back pretty regularly and I started tracking my periods just because I knew the pregnancy was something that eventually we would want, and I know that it helps if you've been tracking your period so you know your cycle. |
| s-12
| And for the first few days / couple of weeks I felt really anxious, really scared, really worried, because my initial reaction was, and still now, I'm a bit like, I'm not old enough for this. |
| s-13
| I'm not grown up enough to do this. |
| s-14
| You feel like you're prepared, you're in a, you know, in a relationship. |
| s-15
| We have been for years, we're adults, but I don't know what it is. |
| s-16
| As soon as I found out I just went back to like a 14 year old girl. |
| s-17
| I'm like 'oh my god, what am I gonna tell my mom? I can't be a mom.' |
| s-18
| So really I was just very very overwhelmed and anxious so it took a few days for me to really process what happened. |
| s-19
| It was quite a shock and it's such a huge huge thing. |
| s-20
| It's life-changing, and so for the first couple of weeks that's all I could focus on, was how life-changing it was and it was really scary. |
| s-21
| I then started to talk to people about it, that made me feel better. |
| s-22
| And, I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say. |
| s-23
| I don't want this to be too, like, all over the place but I decided I do want to document this some way, whether I – at first I was like, I don't need to copy it on YouTube but I definitely wanted to document this in some kind of video form, just because it's such a huge thing. |
| s-24
| You’re only pregnant for the first time once. |
| s-25
| But I did want to document my first trimester to an extent, because when I first found out, I did start to watch videos of people's first few weeks, but again, maybe because I wasn't in a great headspace, that just frightened me, which again was because everyone was just saying how awful they felt, how excited they were, and I didn't feel excited. |
| s-26
| I felt worried. |
| s-27
| The thought of telling, like, my mom. |
| s-28
| I cried when I told her because I felt so, just, like, oh my god. |
| s-29
| I mean you, you feel quite bad when you feel like that, because it's such a happy thing and now, you know, I – you know, I know I've kind of accepted. |
| s-30
| The shock has kind of sunk in. |
| s-31
| And I am happy to tell people, but at first when you're trying to get your head around it, it's very daunting and you just feel awful thinking. |
| s-32
| The thought of telling someone makes me want to burst into tears. |
| s-33
| All these things going onto my head. |
| s-34
| So that also then helped me to make the decision that I do want to document this, but I'm probably going to do it, like, with hindsight, so I check in every now and again and just let you know how I've been feeling. |
| s-35
| But in terms of if I am sick or I'm not feeling great, I'm not gonna vlog whilst I feel like that. |
| s-36
| I wouldn't want to vlog whilst I feel like that if I was just ill anyway. |
| s-37
| And I just think it didn't help me seeing people at their worst at the very beginning, because all you hear is doom and gloom. |
| s-38
| I decided to wait a few weeks before I even started to talk about it, so I think I'm about seven weeks. |
| s-39
| I am waiting for my first midwife appointment. |
| s-40
| I went – I booked the doctors, because the NHS says you need to book a doctor's appointment, but that was a waste of time and I felt quite bad about taking that appointment. |
| s-41
| Because in my area you'd have to self-refer, so I haven't had any kind of appointment or checkups or anything but I have been tracking – tracking – |
| s-42
| I've got an app called' what to expect', put in my, you know, cycle situation and have an estimated due date, which is about mid-September. |
| s-43
| In terms of symptoms, I mean I haven't felt the best, but I have been able to get through it. |
| s-44
| I've definitely struggled on some days but I haven't been sick. |
| s-45
| The biggest thing for me is I have lost – I dipped, and I have lost my appetite. |
| s-46
| There's nothing I really feel like eating. |
| s-47
| I don't have particular aversions to things, I don't feel really sick when I smell anything at the moment. |
| s-48
| But there's things that I don't want to have, so like coffee, I just know that I don't want that, and all I want is beige: |
| s-49
| I want chips, I want white toast, it's pretty much all I eat all day. |
| s-50
| Pasta if I want something hot maybe, I've had soup, but essentially starchy carbs and that's quite normal it seems. |
| s-51
| Like, everyone craves that at this point because you're, you know, building a baby, so you need that energy. |
| s-52
| So I don't feel particularly great nutrition-wise, and I'm trying to eat fruit where I can and veg when I can, but I'm just sort of going with it, because I know there's enough information out there that this is generally how it goes. |
| s-53
| And then hopefully you start to feel a bit better. |
| s-54
| I have felt nauseous and as everyone describes it, a bit jet-lagged, a bit cloudy in my head, and the worst thing for me has been headaches. |
| s-55
| I haven't had them this week, but last week I had a couple of really really bad ones and I haven't had headaches that bad for years. |