Universal Dependencies - English - GUM

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How to Annoy People in Elevators

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An elevator is almost the perfect environment to be a prankster.

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It’s easy to annoy people when you are cramped in such a small, tight space.

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Because elevator rides usually last less than a minute, make sure your pranks are quick and have a lot of punch.

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When annoying people on an elevator, keep your pranks lighthearted and fun as opposed to mean-spirited so that everyone leaving the elevator will have a pleasant story to tell.

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Method 1 Using the Elevator to Annoy People

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Push all the buttons.

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When you get into the elevator, push the button for every floor.

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This makes everyone’s ride on the elevator longer, if only for a few seconds.

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If you want to take it a step further, look around questioningly at everyone in the elevator when no one gets off at the floors you pushed. [1]

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When someone comes in, say, 'I've got this,' before you push all of the buttons.

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You can also push all the buttons as you reach the floor you are getting off at.

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If someone asks you why you pushed all the buttons, you can honestly say, 'It was just a joke!'

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Make a dinging noise at each floor.

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Every time the elevator reaches a new floor, say “ding!” very loudly.

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You can even sing the word “ding” on each floor like notes in a scale, getting higher as you reach each new floor. [2]

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You can make other noises if you prefer, such as a bird cawing or an explosion sound every time a button is pushed.

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Talk to your reflection in the mirror.

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Many elevators have mirrors on the walls.

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A great way to be mischievous in an elevator is to carry on a running commentary while you look at yourself in the mirror.

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You could look at yourself, turning to catch different angles and say “All right, all right, now we’re talking,” very loudly.

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You could also keep adjusting your shirt or your hair, keeping a running dialogue about what look is best for you.

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Stand in the corner of the elevator facing the wall.

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Don't say anything the whole ride.

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Dance to the elevator music.

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Many elevators play music in the background, usually soft rock or smooth jazz.

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If you’re in an elevator that is playing music, start to dance.

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Start just bobbing your head and tapping your feet, and then get your whole body into it.

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Take up as much space as you can to dance until everyone is staring at you. [3]

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Announce every floor.

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At every floor, make a loud announcement telling everyone the floor number.

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Say something like “Everyone going to floor ten, get off now! No time to dilly dally!” [4]

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You can also pretend to conduct people onto the elevator, saying “All aboard the elevator train!”

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Exclaim that you've lost a beast.

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When the elevator is going from the bottom floor to the top, as soon as the doors close, exclaim that you lost your tarantula / snake / scorpion but confirm that it is somewhere in the elevator.

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Most people will probably see that this is a joke.

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However, if somebody looks seriously alarmed or is starting to panic, let them know that you were not being serious.

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Build in or add something to the elevator.

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For example, build a Lego city in the middle of the elevator.

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Lay a Twister mat on the floor and ask people if they want to play.

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Talk to people.

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When there are a lot of people, say, 'You're probably wondering why I've gathered you here today.'