Universal Dependencies - English - GUM

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How to Detect Arrogant People

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Do you always seem to cross paths with people who are stuck on themselves, intolerant of people different from them, rude or downright arrogant?

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These people can be a great source of potential pain, and this article is here to help you sort the arrogant from the not-so-arrogant.

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Steps

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Pay attention to their conversations.

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Don't eavesdrop, but when they're talking to you or to those around you, listen to them.

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Is it always about them?

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Do they get mad or irritated if the centre of attention moves to someone else?

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These are good signs of arrogance.

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Arrogance and smugness is often a reflection of limited life experience, and feeling concerned that those with greater life experience 'have got something over them'.

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Rather than seeking to find out more through questions and learning (actions viewed by them as showing vulnerability), arrogant people tend to generalize from their limited, narrow life experiences and try to impose their small worldview on others.

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Jealousy of your achievements or seeming lifestyle can cause another person to feel smug or arrogant about something they think they do better than you or own / have that you don't.

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Arrogant people have an extremely strong need to look good.

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When you make them look bad - even if it is the slightest offense - they will usually be very mad at you.

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This happens when you question (or at least seem to question) their appearance, intelligence, athletic abilities, or anything else relating to their self-image.

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Challenge their worldview.

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Don't be aggressive –– just skeptical and curious.

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If they get upset, gauge their anger.

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If it's minimal, they may be simply having a bad day.

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But if they're enraged, then they may see you as questioning their 'perfect little world.'

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And having one of those is usually indicative of arrogance.

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At some point or another, most people realize that the world doesn't revolve around them.

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Arrogant people counteract this by creating an atmosphere that revolves around them, and get angry if they're reminded of the real world.

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Ambiguity frightens arrogant people because it suggests imperfection, change and lack of certainty (realities we all must contend with as best we can).

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As such, instead of accepting that the world behaves randomly and at times totally averse to one's preferences, the arrogant person seeks to control everything and everyone, which of course, is an impossible mission.

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Reality hurts when it intrudes; as such, an arrogant person is less likely than other people to self-reflect or analyse, thereby not seeing their own imperfections.

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They may also give themselves undue credit for positive achievements instead of acknowledging the input of others or of circumstances.

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Learn the quality of their friendships.

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Don't be nosy or gossipy, but if they are happy with someone one day and hateful with them the next, that's a sign of them having a lot of fair weather friends.

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That's a sign of arrogance, since it is very hard to be a truly good friend to someone who's stuck on themselves.

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Prideful people have a strong need to look good, and being self-sufficient is an effective way to do that.

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Since being a good friend to someone usually means helping them, they often can't stand the thought of a good friendship.

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Ironically, arrogant people often can't understand why they don't have any reliable and supportive friends.

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How do they treat those not like themselves?

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In other words, how do they treat those with different beliefs, cultural backgrounds and ways of seeing the world?

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If it's inherently negative, then they're either over-zealous, ignorant of other people or what to avoid those that contradict their fantasy land that caters to them and them only.

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Determine this based on their general personality and the people they're interacting with.

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Many times prideful people have a serious 'my-way's-the-only-way' attitude.

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This is simply a protective mechanism for their false image or their fantasy land.

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What's their personality like?

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Take note of how they act, talk, and use their social status.

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Do they have a general sense of 'coolness?'

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Are they a chatterbox?

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Do they act like they own the place, or act like the 'big dog?'

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Are they very keen on their self-image?

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Many arrogant people have a false charm that no one seems to see through.

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But the arrogant person is usually more than happy to show their cruel side to those that they don't like.

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When they are cruel, their friends will usually ignore it or not do anything to stop it since they're afraid that they'll be treated badly by their 'friend.'

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Mention people you know that they don't like.

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This isn't meant to begin a conflict, but to gauge their rivalries, annoyances and enmities.

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If their condemnation seems to be reasonable, they probably aren't hubristic.

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If it's harsh, they are.

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For the most part, arrogant people see people that they don't like as threats to their perfect little world.

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The more they hate someone, the more dangerous that person is to their fantasy land.

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And in turn, the bigger the threat, the harsher the criticism.

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Ask around to see what they've been saying about you.

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If they have been saying bad things about you, they may simply not like you.

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If they're nice to your face, but talk bad about you behind your back like it's their favourite hobby, then they probably have a problem with pride.

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Arrogant people often subconsciously know that they don't have any good friends.

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They compensate for this by creating the impression that they have a lot of friends - they have a 'quantity, not quality' mentality.

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Then they simply insult their trophy friends when they aren't looking.